![The template open in Strokes: the title “Best man speech: [Groom] and [Partner]” over a picture of a wedding marquee glowing at night in a field under strings of lights.](/_next/image?url=%2F_next%2Fstatic%2Fmedia%2Fhero-light.67803d8f.webp&w=3840&q=75)
![The template open in Strokes: the title “Best man speech: [Groom] and [Partner]” over a picture of a wedding marquee glowing at night in a field under strings of lights.](/_next/image?url=%2F_next%2Fstatic%2Fmedia%2Fhero-dark.2de98dfa.webp&w=3840&q=75)
When to use it
- A first-time best man who wants lines to fill in rather than a blank page
- Any slot from two to five minutes, with the time budget scaled to fit
- Brothers, childhood friends, coworkers and best women: the five parts work for all of them
- Rehearsal: timing each part out loud and knowing what to cut when it runs long
How to use this template
- Ask the couple four things first
Fill in "Before you write" before you write anything else: how long you have, where you fall in the order, who else is speaking and what is off-limits. The order changes the speech. WeddingWire notes that at many American receptions the best man goes first, followed by the maid of honor. In the traditional British order he speaks last, after the father of the bride and the groom, and ends the speeches with a toast to the couple. By then the thank-yous are done, so you can skip yours.
- Choose the story before you write a line
Fill the story bank, then fill the "What it shows" column. That column is the point: the story is evidence for one quality, the old rule of show, don't tell. "He's patient" is forgettable. Six Sundays in a parking lot is not. Once you have the story, write the toast line, so the speech has somewhere to land.
- Replace every bracket in your own words
Work through the five parts in order and stay near each word target. The targets stop the groom story from eating the couple part, which is the part the partner's family is waiting for. Keep your tone your own: if you would never say "embark" at a barbecue, don't say it at the wedding.
- Time each part out loud, then cut
Stand up and read at the pace you will use on the day, timing each part separately, and write the times in the last column. Laughs and the pause while glasses go up add time, so a read-through that hits the limit exactly will run over. Cut the backup story first, then any joke that needs a long setup. Leave the couple and the toast alone.
Timing for a shorter or longer slot
WeddingWire advises a best man speech of three to five minutes at most. VirtualSpeech, a presentation-training company, puts a comfortable presentation pace at 100 to 150 words a minute. The template plans at 130 to 150, and your own timed read-through overrules it. Here is the same five-part budget for other slots:
| Part | 2 min | 3 min | 4 min | 5 min |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| PartOpening | 2 min0:15 | 3 min0:20 | 4 min0:20 | 5 min0:25 |
| PartThe groom | 2 min0:45 | 3 min1:10 | 4 min1:40 | 5 min2:00 |
| PartThe turn | 2 min0:20 | 3 min0:30 | 4 min0:35 | 5 min0:45 |
| PartThe couple | 2 min0:30 | 3 min0:45 | 4 min1:05 | 5 min1:30 |
| PartThe toast | 2 min0:10 | 3 min0:15 | 4 min0:20 | 5 min0:20 |
| PartWords | 2 min260–300 | 3 min390–450 | 4 min520–600 | 5 min650–750 |
Five minutes is a ceiling, not a target. If three or four people speak before you, take the two-minute column even if you were offered more. Nobody at a wedding has ever wished the fourth speech were longer.
The template, filled in
Here is the template completed for a three-minute slot, with the time each part starts. The stories and names are made up. The template's fixed lines survive almost word for word (the greeting, "That's Owen," the welcome and the toast), and everything in brackets became something only this best man could say.
0:00 · Opening. Good evening, everyone. I'm Raj, and I've been Owen's friend since we were eleven, the two slowest swimmers on the Lakeview swim team. We've been finishing things together ever since. Usually last.
0:15 · The groom. At seventeen I failed my driving test twice, both times on parallel parking. My dad gave up on me. Owen didn't. For six Sundays in a row he drove me to the empty lot behind the hardware store, set out two recycling bins and talked me into the space between them. He named the bins Gerald and Pam. He brought snacks. He kept notes on the back of a receipt, in very neat handwriting. In week four I flattened Pam. Owen got out, stood her back up, and said one word: "Again." I passed on my third try, and I still say "again" under my breath every time I parallel park.
That's Owen. He will stand in a parking lot for as long as it takes, and he never once makes you feel slow. Ask the kids on the Lakeview swim team. He coaches it now.
1:15 · The turn. So it surprised me, five years ago, when Owen called me in a hurry. He'd been on one date with Hannah. One. He wanted to know if it was too soon to invite her to his cousin's wedding, eight months away. I told him yes, far too soon. He asked her anyway. She said yes. That's when I learned that Owen is patient with everything except the people he's sure about.
1:45 · The couple. Since then I've watched the two of you run a house like a relay team. Hannah plans the trips, and Owen packs the car. Owen cooks, and Hannah, very kindly, eats it. Last winter I watched you build a bookcase together without a single argument. I have tried that with my own wife. It cannot be done.
Hannah, thank you for making my oldest friend the happiest I have ever seen him, and for laughing at Gerald and Pam the first time you heard about them. Welcome to the family. You were part of it long before today.
2:30 · The toast. Would everyone please raise a glass. To Hannah and Owen: may you always find a space right next to each other. To Hannah and Owen.
The jokes come out of the story rather than from a list. The swim team in the opening comes back at the end of the groom section, and the parking lot comes back in the toast. The callback is one of the simplest rhetorical devices to use in a speech, and it makes a short one feel finished. For three complete speeches in different voices, see the guide to writing a best man speech.
Swap lines for your situation
- You're his brother. Open with the family view: "I'm [name], [groom]'s [older / younger] brother, which means I've known him longer than anyone here except our parents." A childhood story works well in part 2, as long as your parents are happy to hear it in public.
- You're a best woman. Say it once and move on: "I'm [name], and yes, tonight I'm the best man." The five parts don't change.
- You barely know the partner. Build part 3 on what you saw in him: "I've only known [partner] for [time], but I heard about them long before that. [How he talked about them.]" Then use part 4 to describe the first time you saw them together.
- You speak last. Thanks are covered. Go straight from your name to the story, and ask everyone to stand for the toast if the room can manage it.
- The couple wants someone remembered. Ask them for the wording, keep it to a sentence such as "We know [name] would have loved today," and put it just before the toast.
On the day, read from numbered cards rather than a phone, and know the opening and the toast by heart. You don't need to memorize the whole speech. Looking up at the end of each sentence is enough.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a best man speech be?
Three minutes is a safe default, about 390 to 450 words at 130 to 150 words a minute. WeddingWire advises three to five minutes at most. If several people are speaking, two minutes is plenty.
Where do jokes go in this template?
Mostly inside the story in part 2. A specific detail from the groom's life, like the named recycling bins in the example, gets a bigger laugh than a one-liner from the internet. A light line about the couple's life together fits in part 4, as the bookcase does in the example. Keep the toast warm rather than funny.
Can I read the speech from notes?
Yes. Nobody expects a wedding speech to be memorized. Print the filled-in template on numbered cards in large type, one or two parts per card, and look up at the end of each sentence.
Does the template work for a rehearsal dinner toast?
Yes. Use the two-minute column, or keep only the opening, one short story and the toast. Rehearsal dinners are often more relaxed, so an inside joke that would confuse the reception may work there. Check with the couple first.
